.Thursday, February 19, 2009 ' 1:16 AM Y
Lol...juz realised tt I've abandoned my blog 4 mths? Anyway I'm bac 2 blogging abt my tots on these few days.Appareantly it's sth bad tt had happened 2 me...haii. I've tried vry hard 2 remain cheerful in front of my frens, though I had failed many of my subjects n dun u noe tt it's vry hard 2 always remain cheerful even when sth unpleasant had happened 2 u? N can u all pls c ppl mood b4 wanting 2 joke or nt...n I would like 2 make it clear tt I dun like tt guy in our sch lor. Cos he's nt my cup of tea...so can u all pls dun be soo childish 2 always say tt or nt. Maybe by saying it once or twice...I may entertain u all...bt keeping on repeating the same ting really sounds annoying. N I'm really sry 4 nt having the mood 2 joke wif u all. Haii.Haii...besides tt I oso felt rather sad abt the results tt I've gotten. Though I knew tt I had nt put in much effort in my CA, bt I did nt expect 2 fail 4 subjects at 1 go. It's like so embarrassing 2 fail soo many subjects while others pass wif flying colors. Besides tt...one guy asked me a qn which make me ponder 4 days...tt is "dun u noe tt getting an A is actually nt difficult at all?" N yea...when i was in sec 1 or 2...getting 70 marks 4 me is indeed nt difficult at all...bt nw I tot tt it was rather hard n it's no longer easy anymore 4 me as I had been slacking soo long. I could nt blame any1 for making me get poor results...bt actually myself 2 be blamed as I had nt cared or studied hard 4 my tests.Besides tt...my family members had pinned alot if hope on me n getting gd results. Bt I've failed 2 achieve wat they wanted. My mummy told me tt I'm like a type of useless ppl n I had no future. She tot tt i would be selling all those dim sum or watever food in a restaurant as a waitress wif low pay...n I would be some1 of rather low class 2 be seving my younger cousins when they grew up. It seems like they r the superior ones n I'm the inferior type. N yea...my grandfather on the other hand said tt it would be a shame if u as the eldest among the cousins could nt set a gd eg 4 yr them by getting gd results n when they grew up...they r much cleverer than u n they might even look down on u. Upon hearing...it really make my heart cries...bt I had 2 ctrl my own emotions n acted as if I dun care at all. It was really sth tt hurts my heart when I heard tt...n yea I still had 2 keep it in my heart n nt let them noe how sad I was 2 hear such comments. N I've found out tt 2 them I was a complete failure...n I'm some1 they would nt pin hopes on anymore. I'm actually = failure + useless. Tt's wat i could say abt myself n I'm juz w8 4 days 2 pass quickly n tt all unhappy tings n critism by classmate could vanish faster. All I could do was 2 try nt 2 care abt wat they say n sometimes I really felt numb abt my resullts n the way ppl look down on me upon my results...haii.
